Chapter 9 Notes from Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
Remembering the specialness of what we are - we use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.
Evaluating ourselves when we've been less than perfect - avoid "shoulding" yourself.
Translating self-judgments and inner demands - self-judgments, like all judgments, are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
NVC mourning
Self-forgiveness
We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.
Don't do anything that isn't "play" [enjoyable?]. -- We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation -- after we gain clarity regarding the need being served by our actions, we can experience them as "play" [enjoyable] even when they involve hard work, challenge, or frustration.
Translating "have to" to "choose to" -- With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.
Cultivating awareness of the energy behind our actions -- explore the statement: "I choose to_________ because I want __________".
The following extrinsic motivations have a price to pay:
1. For money
2. For approval
3. To escape punishment
4. To avoid shame
5. To avoid guilt
6. Out of duty
Things that we choose to do can then come from a genuine desire to contribute to our own and others' well-being.
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