Chapter One - Giving From the Heart

Nonviolent Communication:  A Language of Life

By Marshall B. Rosenberg
 

Chapter 1:  Giving From the Heart

Reading Review – Assignment 1 from the Nonviolent Communication Workbook

1)  The author, Marshall B. Rosenberg, says that NVC evolved out of his exploration of two questions which had occupied him since childhood:
               
--  What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to act violently and exploitatively?
 
--  What allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?

2)  “Nonviolent Communication” is also known by the title: “Compassionate Communication”, “NVC” or “Giraffe Language”.  Some people have expressed discomfort with the word “nonviolent” in the title because they don’t perceive themselves engaging in “violent” speech.  Rosenberg explains that he uses the term nonviolence as Gandhi used it – to refer to our natural state of compassion when violence has subsided from the heart.  While we may not consider the way we talk to be “violent” our words often lead to hurt and pain, whether for others or ourselves.

3)  The purpose of NVC is to strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions and remind us how we humans were meant to relate to one another (mutual giving and receiving from the heart) – and assist us in living in a way that concretely manifests this knowledge.

4)  NVC differs from the way we often communicate by guiding us to reframe how we express ourselves and hear others so that our words become conscious responses based firmly on an awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting (instead of habitual, automatic reactions).  We are led to express ourselves with honesty and clarity, while simultaneously paying others a respectful and empathic attention.

5)  NVC is more than a process or a language because it is an ongoing reminder to keep our attention focused on a place where we are more likely to get what we are seeking:  a compassionate flow between ourselves and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.

6)  The two parts of the NVC model are:  1) expressing honesty through the four components;
and  2) receiving empathically through the four components

7)  The four components of the NVC model are:  1) observation 2) feeling 3) needs 4) request.

8)  Some areas or ways that NVC can be used in our lives and our society:  to create greater depth and caring in intimate relationships, to build more effective relationships at work, in negotiations in the political arena, and as a mediation process.